There are about 110 things going through my mind right now and not a single one of them is good. I feel like I want to cry. I hate crying. I never cry. I am the strong one.
On the plus side my brother just said "hel gair" when he tried to say hair gel. That made me smile.
Anyway, I'll write more later. I need to make some breakfast. I'm thinking about spaghetti.
11:02 am Ok So I'm feeling a little better. Until I think about it again. So things I'm thinking about: My chest hurts, I'm dizzy and I feel generally yucky. The union is officially on strike. They were holding up traffic as I was leaving work this morning. They will probably be there when I get back tonight. I can't sleep AGAIN. The war is on my mind constantly because everywhere you turn it is in your face. I'm stressed out about.... DOH people I know and speak to are reading this.... I don't know if I want them to know... Maybe I'll just make this a private entry. But then I will have updated for nothing. Ok that's another stress. I'm frustrated about having to keep secrets I called someone I haven't talked to in a long time and now I'm not sure if I should have or not. I'm still upset about Cordelia the whole thing makes me very sad. My sister is pressuring me to do something special with her for mothers day, which I totally want to do but am not sure if I can afford. My mother and I have very differing opinions on very big issues and have been arguing a lot lately. Now I am feeling guilty. The whole work situation is a little retarded. Theres no stability and nothing is ever the same twice. I'm still not sure if I'll have a job in May or not... I look bad but can't get my hair cut or anything because I don't have a stylist I like or trust out here. I am hungry but I just ate I'm just feeling bad and depressed but also feeling like I shouldn't feel this way. What's wrong with me?
this one was written 2003-04-01 @ 8:15 am by dee
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