I've been thinking about that a lot lately. I am convinced that the way I see myself is totally and completely different from how others see me. Not really better or worse, just different.

I was told the other day that I look like a cabbage patch doll. I don't know about you but I was pretty offended by that... If you're not familiar with the dolls, let me show you why its a little insulting:

Most of the time, I'm walking around, living my life and what-not completely obilivious to myself. Or my looks at least. I just really don't pay much attention at all to how I look. But at other times I am so self-conscious that I over analyze every little characteristic. It's really quite annoying.

In any case when I'm looking at myself in the mirror I see myself totally different from how I am when I see myself in photos. I think the photos are a much more accurate view of what I actually look like. Though I must say I'm much less impressed with that than I am of what I think I look like.

I once had a conversation with a friend about perceptions and how our senses deceive us into believing things that aren't necessarily true.

For example when you see grass, you know it is green. We are taught that it is green. But what if your perception of the color green is different from my perception of that color. So what you see as green is really the shade that I see as blue... it's kind of hard to explain. Its kind of like with different languages, if you say blue and I say bleu we know the word to mean the same shade. So it could be the same with our senses right? We all see and hear and taste and feel things slightly differently. It's already been proven with sound. We all sound differently to ourselves than we do to others.

Perhaps the artists that paint things with green skys and blue land aren't as crazy as we thought, maybe they can just see past the perceptions. I don't know, I think I'm getting to deep for myself.

In any case this is all about ME. ME ME ME ME ME. yes.

So in summary, I look better to me than I do to you and thats ok, so long as you stop calling me Xavier Roberts.

----------------------------------------

Have you ever poked yourself in the eye and noticed theres a little black dot in the opposite corner from where your finger is. Isn't that weird when that happens? It freaked me out, but then I remembered that everything we see is reversed as its processed. So it all makes sense and I was relieved. I guess I did learn something from science afterall. I wonder if the person who figured out that theory poked himself in the eye too. That would explain a lot.