In any case, I kept doing things to help out and make the night run smoothly and people kept telling me they would do it. It was a nice gesture but then I was bored and had nothing to do. I sent out a general good bye, thanks for having me email to everyone in the company. But then, I decided to do a really awesome final email to all my friends. It took about 3.5 hours to come up with all of it, but with the help of a friend or two I came up with something great.

Here it is for your viewing pleasure:

From : Dee

Sent : July 31, 2004 4:30:52 AM

To : "all my friends at work"

Subject : The Best Way To Move Up Is To Move On.

_______________________________________

Dear Fellow Employees,

I've experienced lots of vicissitudes here and would like to offer my sincere vociferous dimunition of this company. The anhedonia that I have enjoyed here makes me wonder how I ever got along without. I wish you all many anathemas. Thank you!

HA... Just kidding.

I know I've already sent a "good bye" email, but this one is different. This email is for those who know me best, or think they do. I figured I should do my best to leave you with something to remember me by.

I know many of you have heard the Story of the Cebu.

Many of you have been wondering exactly what a cebu is. It's kind of like a waterbuffalo. I've taken the liberty to find some very rare pictures of cebu's in their natural habitat.

You may notice the eyes of a cebu really convey a lot of emotion. And also the sun has a smiley face. That's the most important thing to remember in life... The sun has a smiley face. I think that really has a deeper meaning in all of our lives.

I also thought it would be appropriate to send you away with a new story:

Once upon a time at an evil, evil place called "Syebos" (which oddly enough sounds like 'Cebu's'... But it's not) they turned all kinds of princes and princesses into crazy raging lunatics and made them feel "tagged" and violated...like they had been drugged, tagged and released back into the wild (but not in the way that they liked).

What will they do?

Tune in next week when a mysterious fire blazes through the village of "Syebos".... No wait... false alarm. That was just a sprinkler.

THE END

As I said in the more generic email I recently sent out, it's been an interesting 2 years. Connie has tried (and failed) countless times to make me cry, Karl has threatened to show me things that may very well make me cry. I've almost teared up a couple of times when I got called into the back office, but somehow I managed to survive it. The rest of you mostly make me laugh. We've had some great times.... No wait, those were drug induced. I really don't remember much.

I don't exactly know how this all happened. I showed up one day for a temp position (they told me it would last about 2-3 weeks) and ended up here for TWO years. It's been the longest two years of my life. But I've met a lot of people along the way. I know now that I hate all my co-workers equally. I learned if you make a mistake, the best thing to do is to hide it so that no one finds out until after you leave for the day. And I'll always remember that the crazies only come out at night (and somehow all managed to get hired at this place).

I will try to stay in touch with all of you. Feel free to send any gossip, jokes, or letters to my email address (something along the lines of [email protected]). Yes, that's right. [email protected] .... Cause that's where I'll be.

It's been real.

Your Good Buddy,

Dee

For the past two weeks, Connie has been saying she wanted to make me cry before I left. Mostly because, that's the type of person she is. And she's the type to follow through by any means necessary. So when she said it again when I walked into work that night, I told her I'd give her $50 if she succeeded.

I got another couple of really awesome gifts from a couple of friends. Katelin got me "something salty (pretzles and cheesies), something sweet (gummy candy rings), something because sometimes you feel like a nut and sometimes you don't (Peanut and plain m&m's), and something cause she couldn't resist (candy filled plastic toilet with two lollipop plungers")!" And Glenda came in and brought me a really cute stuffed monkey and three pairs of fun socks with monkeys or dogs on them.

Then first break came and Connie comes out of the back office with a giant box covered in wrapping paper and sets it down in front of me. Everyone was standing around waiting for me to open it. I did and it was a really nice globe that looks kinda like this one. And Connie said it was from everyone and that she was waiting for one tear so she could get her $50.

Well I couldn't very well let her leave with my money but I did choke up a bit.

It was a great night.

There's more to the story but I'll fill you in later.