We get in the car and I tell Zian the story of how I'm deathly afraid of ice since my accident which apparently he had never heard. So then I was on a roll, telling stories and such so I told him the story of how my teacher thought I was a pipe smoker. All of a sudden, he was like "Where would one go to get a pipe?" to which I replied "I think there's a tobacco shop not to far from here." And off we went on our strange escapade.

We get to the shop which actually smells pretty good considering all they sell is stink. We were looking around when the counter guy, who kind of looked like Newman from Seinfeld, comes over to us to ask if we needed help with anything. Zian explained that he was looking at getting into pipe smoking and the guy who was a total tobacco snob was all "it's not just as easy as buying a pipe and lighting up" asked us how much time we had. He actually downsold as far as the pipe goes. He told Zian it would be better to start with a corncob pipe than a cheap briar one as long as you could get past the hokey-ness of it.
Picking out the actual tobacco was funny too. The guy, who I'll call Newman, asked Zian what he thought he might like to try. Zian pointed out a black cherry cannister and Newman let him smell it, Zian liked it. Then Newman put it back on the shelf, picked out a different flavor and told Zian this would be what he was getting it was called Tolkien which is kind of cool.
So Newman set him up with all the gear and then began the "first lesson". He told Zian to take a seat at the end of the counter and another guy who was sitting at the counter smoking told him to pick any seat, to which Newman replied "No. Not any seat. End of the counter." He was all guru and told Zian that it was "just like in school, watch first, then try." Newman showed him how to pack a pipe and scolded him, in a very condecending way, for leaving the bag of tobacco bag open, even for a minute, because it will all dry out.
Eventually Zian got a chance to light up and though he said he burnt his tounge a bit at first, he said it was enjoyable. As we left the place he told me that he realized right away that the only right answer to anything Newman said was "uhuh", which made me laugh.
We were walking back to the car and I mentioned that now we reeked like smoke and Zian was all worried about it. He had to go pick up his girlfriend and he said he'd rather explain it to her than have her smell him and figure it out. Right then is when she called him and he explained that he was just dropping me off at home, going to his place to shower and then coming to pick her up. I could hear her say "So you were with Dee and now you have to shower before you can pick me up? that' doesn't sound so good." So I thought it would be amusing to throw in a couple of "Oh Baby!'s" for good measure. So naturally Zian had to explain the pipe smoking thing over the phone. And his girlfriend replied "That's even Worse!" And then we were at my house.

So it's been a fun day. And if anyone ever askes me if I smoke a pipe again, I can reply "No, but I know how to... just in case *wink wink*"