Me (as Charlie:)

Sometimes I try so hard to be profound and I loose my way. I keep thinking that my life is like the movies. Or is a movie, like "The Truman Show" and everyone is watching me waiting for what I'm going to say next. It had better be deep and wise and awe-inspiring because if not... well there is no if not because it always works in the movies.

I want to be as poetic as Shakespeare and as funny as Chaplin. As artistic as Picasso and as brilliant as Einstein. Every time I read a book or see a movie or hear a song, I wish it were me. I want to be all things to all people. Not because I am so vain but because I am so desperate for the unattainable. And it is unattainable for me because I can never be more than I am. I mean sure I can push my self and learn new things. But if you are tone deaf it's quite difficult to ever learn to play like Bach.

Some people are given an abundance of talent in certain areas that allows them to be exquisite and unfortunately for me, the standards they set are unattainable. So I must be content to sit and read or listen or watch and simply be smart enough to be grateful for that.

_______________________________________

Unfortunately I received no more responses to my emails. I may not have mentioned that these emails were not sent so randomly at all, I sent them to a friend, who quite quickly figured it out. I am not nearly as smart as I keep trying to be. Oh well, live and learn.