HOW TO BEGIN A NEW YEAR

ME (as Charlie Mayne):

It is 1:13 am January 1st 2003, Great... or maybe not. Who's to say for sure? But perhaps the best way to begin a new year is to write some completely random thoughts to a random person and just sit back to watch what transpires. I have always wanted to write kind of a journal but I think by sending it in letters to you that it gives me a purpose for doing it that I wouldn't have otherwise and I hate doing things without purpose.

You my new friend have been chosen, completely randomly to bear witness to my cleverness and stupidity. You'll probably learn more about me than perhaps even I know about myself. Where to begin? I could go into detail about where I've come from, but I'm sure the details of that would bore you even more than they have me. So instead we'll start from where we are, the middle of my story, or the beginning from your perspective. In any case I am babbling.

So I'm sitting here on New Years Eve and as with every year previous to this I begin the year with tears. I'm never really sure why but every year at this time I feel overwhelmed by everything. The thought of all that I've done, and all that I haven't done. Opportunities missed and people I have hurt (mostly myself). To think of starting all over again with a new year... well the thought scares me. That I have this opportunity to do it all again, and possibly fail, again. But I am being way to melodramatic. In all reality, my life isn't so bad. I mean I've got a computer so I'm not that poor and I've got food and shelter and all the rest, what more could anyone ask for right?

Do you ever have times where you are just sitting, staring off into space or whatever and all of a sudden you are consumed with guilt for something you've done 5 years ago. Or like suddenly you remember every stupid or hurtful thing you've ever done? Days like that can last forever. It's funny how the things you most want to forget stick closest to you sometimes. Now, I'm not trying to say that my life is so horrible, because it's quite the opposite in fact. I mean, I'm a strong believer in the whole "there's always someone worse off than you" philosophy. I am rarely the type of person to get down on myself, at least not when anyone's watching. But somewhere out there is a person who is that "worse off than you" person. And in some cases, I must be that to someone else. I suppose it has something to do with perspective and priorities. Then again, who really knows for sure?

Ok so I'm getting a little too deep for my own liking right now. And I'm probably not making much sense either. I'm trying so hard to be profound and wise that nothing is coming out right. Its so frustrating. I give up. I'll write more another time. They say that the first hour on New Years is indicative of how your entire year will be.

This could still be a good year,

Charlie

_____________________________________

RE: HOW TO BEGIN A NEW YEAR

Alias (as himself):

It is 2:24 am January 1st 2003, Great....or maybe not....or neither.

One thing I could say is that right now I'm not sure if it is great, or not, I am lost, and you sound lost too.

It's strange however to recieve an e-mail from you, as you said 'randomly.' I do wonder however what your 'story' or 'story's' are. You seem hurt, either by what you or someone else has done, and that basic idea I may have in common. Maybe you can tell me more, and maybe I'll do the same.

This year is only what you make of it,

Alias