When I was first asked by Dee to write a guest entry for her "anniversary" entry thingy, I was really excited, then hungry, then sleepy, then excited again. And then I forgot all about it until yesterday when I received an e-mail from her reminding me about it, and that I would get an extension on the deadline since apparently I already missed the first one. Then the panic set in; not only because I had four days to think of something to write about, but also her mentioning that I would get an extension reminded me of the fact that I need an extension in other areas as well. (NARF! :P )

Anywho, so here I sit at a quarter to three in the morning, having drank a few cold ones, wondering what to write about, and then I think why not write about the first time I ever met Dee? Sounds good to me.

When I first met Dee, we were at the playground; she was playing with dolls, and I was strapped to a harness which was tied to the monkey bars. After introducing myself and telling her why I was in a harness and wearing a helmet with my name written on masking tape on it, I went in for the kill by saying, "I love you, you know." to which she replied, "I know." But this was all quickly forgotten when she made some "hurtful and un-neccessary" comments and I told her, "You're dropped! I'm so over you. I don't think about you when you're not here." But we quickly made up and I told her that I loved her again. It was about this time that I screamed "YOU'RE THE DEVIL!!!" when she offered me some crack, I mean, what kind of sick f*ck offers a little kid crack???!!!

Wait, wait...that's not it. That was a Mike Myers skit from SNL...but it was chocolate instead of crack; that must have been my own fantasy of eating mass quantities of illegal drugs. But here's what really happened...I was standing on the street corner with two freshly baked loaves of french bread stuck in either side of my hat, when she walked past and I stared at her saying simply, "You're my favorite." And we've been hanging out ever since.

~the Beermaster.

By now you should know the drill. Tomorrow, we feature the works of Sunshine, who unfortunately is without a diary, despite my pleas.