Unfortunately our first guest writer is much more prompt than I am and as such, this entry was written to my original specifications. So it's a little backdated. Yet still very much relevant. Here's Bethany:

Dee is celebrating her 500th entry (WOOHOO! and such), and in light of this I think it's a natural progression of thought to wonder how Bethany's weekend is going. I am here to tell you.

Last night I went to see Bourne Supremacy, because my mother had two tickets and no one to go with her. The theater, as it turns out, was out of popcorn butter, yet failed to mention this until after I purchased the 55 gallon drum of popcorn. It was then that I realized, I've been eating buttered cardboard all this time. Who knew?

Once the movie started, I was immediately gripped by the suspense. Mainly, the suspense as to when or if the person seated behind me would stop kicking my shoulder. I gave them the benefit of the doubt the first two or nine times, but towards the end I was trying to estimate whether I could successfully turn around and gauge their eyes out with my car keys without drawing attention to myself.

It wasn't a bad movie by a long shot, I'm just not an 'action' person. However, the people next to me clearly were, because they spent the entire film having dry sex on my armrest. At one point the guy disentangled his girlfriend's face from his tonsils to apologize for elbowing me. And I thought to myself, what exactly does one say in this situation?

The credits rolled, we went to IHOP. I had a nasty salad and nasty garlic bread with nasty salsa on the side, and for this we left a $20 tip, because our waiter was nice and overworked -- and he stared creepily at me throughout the entire meal, but that wasn't why he got $20.

In other highlights, I discussed the Cold War era with the Target cashier, and I discovered Altoids gum. I am very into this latest discovery. Also, it is now four o'clock Saturday, and I am in my pajamas. I think it's safe to say that the world is exactly how it should be: Vexing, teetering on the bizarre, but in a slow, minty-fresh sort of way.

The moral of this story, in case you weren't following closely, is that Dee and her prolific diary rock, whereas I do not, because to celebrate her milestone, I told you about my weekend. I mean, seriously, what the heck? That aside: Here's to rocking on for 500 more!

~Bethany

Todays entry is brought to you by the letter "B" and the number 500. Please join us tomorrow when our guest writer will be Channy of Tasty Skittle.