I should be sleeping. I have an eight o'clock class tomorrow that I can't miss. I can't miss any class actually, but particularly this one because I need the time to work on the things I should have done this weekend. Bad habits die hard. I have so many bad habits.

I loathe confrontation of any kind and yet lately that's all I seem to be faced with. I'm a very private person, which I suppose is a little ironic considering this very public journal I'm writing. But it's different somehow, more anonymous, even though it's really not. People I know and speak to on a daily basis read this, but that's ok with me in some ways.

I talk a lot about being honest and open. I stand for a lot of things that I don't really live upto. I'm not even close to the person I want to be. I let myself down a lot.

This is really starting to get a little depressing, and much more real than these things usually are. Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's this damn headache, maybe it's the fact that in less than six hours I'll be standing out in the cold waiting for a bus. But probably not. That's just the way it is.

Some things will never change.