Talking is my way of clearing my head. By verbalizing these thoughts swimming around my head I'm able to clear out the clutter. Sort and organize.

Real life is much to complicated for absolutes sometimes. That's something I never thought I'd say. I have always been a strong believer in the black and white theory. Yes there are those vague circumstances where there may be shades of grey... but I was certain I'd never have to come across any of those situations in my everyday life. Here I am stuck in the middle of one, not knowing what to say or do.

No matter what people are going to get hurt. I honestly don't know what the best solution is. There is no solution. No happy ending.

I'm so conflicted between what is supposed to be right is what just feels wrong. But the other side is no better. I feel so completely lost. I can't imagine how I'd feel if it were even my situation.

I'm seriously hoping a good nights sleep will rid me of all these thoughts. There's so much else going on. I have to study for finals. I have to get this house into shape. I commited to some piecework for the site which has to be done pronto. Oh, and I got a job offer, which I accepted because I can't say no to anything. That in and of itself is weighing heavy on my mind, considering the outcome of the last job I tried while in school.

I seriously might be sick.