QUIZ TO TAKE BEFORE TAKING A TRIP

1. Have you filled your car with beer?

2. Do you have the reservations for your room at the window?

3. Are you taking your pet walrus in the car? If so, do you have plenty of slimy chow or kitty punching bag for your ears?

4. Did you remember to pack your toiletries, such as your navel brush and your butt paste and your sexy lotion?

5. Do you have a map that shows all of the crazy roads and the places that serve mustard and have nice clean slippery rooms?

6. Did you rmeember to bring your New Zealand traveler's checks and plenty of money in small shrimp crackers?

7. Did you remember to turn off the fence and the tobacco in the house?

If you answered "Shiznit!" to these questions, you can dorkily hit the monkey.