I guess because it's more normal. Because it seems healthier. And for whatever reason I've led myself to believe that I want to be normal and healthy.

But its just not as fun as being crazy and uh... unshapely? Well that part I could easily do without. It's about will power. Don't let your mind beat you. But I just tune out and then my mind's not a problem. Or maybe that IS the problem.

I've been talking to a few of my old friends recently. It's making me kind of sad. Everyone is so different now. Everyone is moving on, with education, love, life in general. And I'm so... not. Stuck.

I've been out here for almost two years. What have I accomplished? Nothing really. I'm still in pretty much the same situation as I was when I came. I keep saying that I want to change my life. To become a better person. But my enthusiasm quickly fades, leaving me with... myself. I don't know where I was when they were handing out will power but, I'll be damned if I let someone else get my share. I've just got to focus myself. Make some goals. Attainable goals.

Stop wishing and start achieving.