Well I was all excited to write a wonderful entry about the cool moon "set" (when the sun is rising only the other side of the sky). I kind of got a little distracted because my parents are fighting. I know that people argue. I know that people get angry. I know that I am 20 years old and none of this should bother me. But my (original pair of) parents divorced before I can remember so I've never known fights. My mom is a very soft, warm, unangry person. Even when she's angry she is not frightening. My dad on the other hand has a terrible temper. And I am told it was Much Much worse before. He swears when he is angry and it makes me nervous. His tone of voice changes, his body language, his whole presence just changes and everything about him is angry. I know its not like "Angry Dad" kinda anger or its not like he is abusive in ANY way. I just don't deal well with it.
And the scary part is, I am a lot like him. Lately I've been noticing this with everyone. Little things they do that I hate and how they are usually related to something I hate about myself. (eg. My brother's disrespect for his mother [I was just the same]) And some of the things my dad said when he was angry are things I've said myself. It made me really sad.
Remind me to tell you about my job news later.
this one was written 2003-02-15 @ 1:00 pm by dee
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