I thought I'd check out this new church The Meeting House that I'd heard of a while ago. I'd been in the area once but never had a chance to go check it out. I figured I was up early enough to go to the 10am service. Drove around for a while, couldn't find it, drove past it twice. By then I would have been about 20 minutes late. But I wasn't leaving without going to church. So I went to a restaurant to have breakfast and wait for the next service.

One thing I hate more than almost anything else is eating alone. I H-A-T-E it. I'll do almost anything to avoid it. I mean, it's one thing to eat alone at home (although cooking for one sucks alot too). But it's completely different to go out to eat by yourself.

Talk about Humiliation after humiliation. First you get there and you're standing in line with all these other people who are out with their friends and family. Then the hostess finally gets to you "for how many?" ... "just one". It's like screaming out "No one loves me, I AM ALL ALONE! Now take me somewhere I can drown my sorrows in your pancake syrup." Or at least thats what I imagine people are thinking as I walk to my table. Did you know that tables in restaurants come in sizes two and up? I could tell by the look of the couple behind me as I take up a table meant for TWO! "Honey, that could have been our table!" But again, that look could have just been gas.

To make things even worse, the waiter always comes up to you and says "are you waiting for someone or is it just you?" ARGH! could you not tell by the ONE menu? Are you trying to call attention to me? Yes, it's just me. I am one person taking up space at this very fine establishment and I would like my pancakes please!

Of course there's always the casual glances of people at nearby tables like "oh how sad, she doesn't even know anyone who would come and eat with her. She is pathetic and we are happy." Which is funny because I am really quite happy, because by this time I have received my pancakes.

Even the bill is taunting the single diner. At the bottom, right after the total... where it tells you the servers name and stuff. Customers: ONE. Why not just make me wear a silly hat or a sign or something. SINGLE DINER HERE. DO NOT APPROACH.

So usually if I am forced to eat alone, I do so quickly and leave a pretty good tip as kind of a thanks for not yelling out "Hey, look at the loser at the table of one!"

You may assume that all of this is in my head and you are probably right. You may assume that I have self-esteem issues, but you and I both know what happens when you assume.

P.S. My server was named Feris, I think he should be even more embarassed than me.