Maybe it's the music, maybe it's the fact that I spent the last couple of hours watching Dawson's Creek on dvd (I know, it's a weakness and I am sufficiently ashamed), but I'm feeling rather melancholy and introspective. Oddly enough, these are feelings I seek out more often than not.

It's the only time I stop to think. Really think. I crave that moment in the movies where the background music overpowers all other sounds as the characters begin to realize exactly what they need to do to make the story end right. Right before the story is wrapped up and tucked in. The profound revelations discovered while Jann Arden describes the immensity of the situation through a soulful acoustic ballad.

I've mentioned before that I sometimes consider my life to be a movie. I choose music as though it is a soundtrack. It's weird, I know. And nowhere near as entertaining as the big screen, trust me. But it's nice to feel that sometimes.

Today's episode has gotten me thinking not so much about my own life as much as the one of those around me. So many people I know are dealing with some really crappy stuff right now. So much loss. Financial, spiritual, physical, emotional, relational... It's a cloud hanging over the heads of the people I love. And, it may sound selfish, but it hurts so much to watch it happening and not be able to do a damn thing to make it better.

So you sit there, and smile, and try to tell them it will be ok. You offer cliches and greeting card wisdom. You send up prayers and do your best not to let them see you cry. But it's not enough.

And somewhere along the line, it stops being your battle to fight. Days go by and your life goes on, but you feel guilty for letting it happen. Then that song starts up in the background. The camera goes in for a close up, then cuts to clips of better times, then fades, slowly, to black.

But this isn't a movie and the problem is that the story ends right where it should begin.