The worst part is, I kind of like it that way. I like that people see me a certain way, or expect certain things from me. I encourage it. I am a different person around each different group and I try not to mix them, because it's too hard to do.

I think part of the problem is that saying things out loud makes them more real, and I'm not really proud of the way I behaved in many situations. It's not my actions so much as my intentions that embarass me. It's so much easier to hide behind the edited versions of the truth I choose to release.

The other part involves me not wanting to know myself. Some things I've done I don't even remember until someone else brings it up. Like "remember that time when you..." and then it comes back to me. In fact, I wouldn't be suprised to find out I've got more secrets than I know about. In fact, even sitting here, telling you about it, is making me very nervous, and I don't even know why. You get the most edited version of all.